Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I can finally shut up about The Punisher for awhile

The title says most of it, but all in all, I have finished reading the first 60 issues of the Garth Ennis run. After all the hilarity and drama, the final arc was God damn good. Basically, Frank is being tracked down by some Delta bubbas trying to bring him in for trial. Throughout the book are excerpts from a book that was written by the brother of one of the Marines that was in Frank's platoon during his last tour in 'Nam entitled, "Valley Forge, Valley Forge". Until I read this arc, I don't think that I had read a better war story than Ennis's ".303". The arc talks about the profits of war, as well as the bumblefuck that was known as the Vietnam War. Strong shit folks. Read it, already.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Anchors Aweigh, bitch.

From Warren Ellis's first issue of Ignition City.

The only way this could have been better was if Ellis had a panel after the last with Vanderkirk saying, "And I'm not a cocksucker!"

Battlestar Galactica Series Finale

So, I think the morale of the story is that robots will take all the jobs from blue-collared workers. Right?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

For all 1 of you that read my blog

I totally forgot to explain how I came up with that Twilight post. When I was watching that part where Edward was all sparkly in the sun like a Liberace cock-ring, I thought to myself, "Vampire?! Hah! More like...GLAMpire!"

Folks, you get this humor at no cost whatsoever. No need to thank me.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

My favorite scene in Twilight

I love when Edward stands in the sunlight.

Wait a minute, that's David Bowie! Haha, I got confused there for a minute. Nonetheless, here is a neat screenshot of that one scene with Edward at night:

Well, fuck me, that's David Bowie again.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Paging Dr. Castle

My new crack, "The Punisher", has Frank following some human traffickers. This is the cover and first page.

He isn't studying for the MCATs, folks. Somebody is getting FUCKED UP!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Exterminate! Kawaii desu!!!

That's right; I said, "Kawaii", dammit.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Furious Spanking

I have been ridiculously addicted to Garth Ennis's run of The Punisher. I'm not talking about that horseshit mini-series with the yoked out Russian in the red and white stripes. I'm talking about the one where he wastes Westies, throws a guy out of a second story window onto a spike tipped fence before he jumps back onto the guy, and escapes out of a missle a fucking MISSLE. This is not Preacher, folks. This is Frank muthafucking Castle. Garth Ennis tends to write occasional slop, but I never brush the man off, especially not if the man wrote Unknown Soldier and one of my favorite comics of all time, ".303".

So, we all know who Nick Fury is, right. Eye patch, white dude with grey temples (Or bald, black dude ala Sam Jackson, depending on which you prefer). Basically, he is James Bond if 007 had taken a lesser form of the Super-Soldier serum and was a cigar smoking Yank. Garth Ennis wrote Nick Fury in a way that I haven't never seen him, but is the most authentic. A man with Fury's experience is supposed to be grizzled and, well, Ennis in true fashion makes Fury do something that I would have never imagined he would.

OK, in case you missed it, lemme explain what happened in those two panels. Nick Fury spanked a dude. With a belt. The dude was another guy. That got spanked by Nick Fury. There is a term that people use that goes, "Gawwwd Damn." Pick this book up already.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Emerald City Comic Con 2009


I won't bog you down with a million pictures of the day's many costumes. If you truly give a shit about pics, you can Google them and I'm sure there will be a few websites showing you the good and bad of the bunch.

The first thing I noticed is that they had changed the venue from the Seattle Seahawk's stadium to the Convention Center which has a whole bunch more space. I also realized that when I went to the con back in 2004, pre-military mind you, 2004 was the second annual. There are a whole fuck load more people, but the plus side to the increase of douche bags at conventions is the increase of exposure for sweet panels.

Good god, pure fanboys fucking smell like a pile of dookie forgot to put on its deoderant and after-shave. Next topic.

I was not as excited as I expected to be, honestly. I guess since I download frigging everything, buying stuff to get signed became moot to me. With that being said, though, I had a fucking blast. There is nothing like seeing independant artists as well as large companies share the same space and not act like they are snobby when you tell them that you appreciate their art. I had saw Matt Fraction (Casanova) and Jason Aaron (Scalped), but I didn't get anything signed. I can no longer justify purchasing a single issue just to get a signature. Now, if I could find a full trade of Casanova or something, then that would be cool. If I am gonna buy a comic, it had better be long enough so that I can't finish it in one sitting on the shitter.

Me and my friend had got in line for Bruce Timm as soon as we got there. My buddy was totally stoked to catch him since there is a whole story about how 15 years ago, he missed a prime opportunity to meet him. Bruce was doing requested sketches and was a pretty cool guy.

There was some other cool stuff, too.

I saw a kid with a balloon animal of Spider-Man and I totally wanted to take a picture of the booth. I didn't find it until roughly the end of our time at the con. They had some really neat shit, though, like Batman, Ash, and some other things that looked like, well, comic related things, I think. By the way, that picture up top is a bad ass balloon Donatello.

One of two things are going on at this next pic. Either:
(a) They are all going through hypoglycemia and are awaiting for the guy in the Chester Cheetah costume to replenish their life force
(b) They are waiting for their mothers to pick them up.

Of course, I had to get me a sweet t-shirt. I had found a neato shirt, but neato is such an understatement. Check it out...
Please, folks! Do not be mesmerized by the plastic Flash ring and light up Wonder Woman tiara! Look closer at the shirt!
Holy fucking shit, that is a blue bear weilding two revolvers ready to rock. Man, if this is Dodge, you need to get the hell out of it. There ain't nothing else cooler than this unless it's a bear holding a guitar case that shoots rockets like in Desperado.

That, my friends, is Emerald City Comic Con 2009 in a nutshell. Hope to see you next year! Or tomorrow, so that you can continue to read my blogs...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

When You Become A God, You Play With Your Creatures

In today's news, "Sears photo shoot slimed by Radioactive Oooze".

Over at Sexy People, there is a post of a Man, His Kin...and a Ninja Turtle.

If you notice, though, that is Mr. Peter Laird of Eastman and Laird, aka co-creators of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Mom on the left is smiling her ass off, awaiting the day that the 90s are over and she will be a rich divorcee. Junior, in the other hand, is not happy at all, not one bit.

NOTE TO SELF: If you ever create a super cool creation that has something to do with personified animals and decide to take a picture with a life-sized version of them, one of them holding your child, no less...Wear a decent t-shirt.