Monday, August 31, 2009

Congrats, Marvel! Here's some advice!

In todays news, Disney bought Marvel Entertainment for $4 Billion. I have some tips for you, Marvel Entertainment that I would like to suggest.

(1) Don't fret when the inevitable Wall-E versus Ultron happens. Don't be surprised, either, when Wall-E bests Ultron by tricking him into opening a door and a bucket of water falls on his head.

(2) Accept the fact that Wolverine's claws are too sharp for typical Disney viewers. Disney just may ask you to write a story where Wolverine will never unsheathe his claws and ask people politely to put down the gun.

(3) Captain America will never die again. On that note, make sure Captain America eats only McDonald's and when he goes into foreign countries, he shakes the hands of children. Side Note: Ensure that Cap does not battle anybody from a foreign country unless the media has popular vote.

(4) Don't worry when you have to give Spider-Man ropes to swing around on; Disney just thinks that his webs might resemble semen too much, no biggie...

(5) Lastly, a message for the future. A future where Marvel realizes that they lost all hopes of any regaining any type of creative control: "Cheer up, Marvel! Most people that get fucked in the ass just get lube, not $4 Billion."

The best show that you aren't watching right now: "Being Human"

So, a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost live in a loft...

BBC America has just recently aired the first season finale of the sweet show called, "Being Human". Though it was almost a year after the BBC 3 airing, hey, we'll take what we can get. The show starts off with a vampire from World War 1, a werewolf that scratched while on a trip at Scotland, and a ghost that lost her life by falling down some stairs and busting her head on the floor.

OK, so we have a cheeky premise. Check. My concern with the show was that it was going to be very "monster of the week". Wrong-o. From the beginning, we get the feeling that there is some sort of upcoming doom. Mitchell (the vamp) was a part of a group of vampires that may be up to no-good; sort of like a secret society. Annie (the ghost. The HOT ghost) is starting to find out that she is still stuck in this life because she has some kind of unfinished business. The flat the trio live in is where she died. George (this rules out "werewolf") is, uh, well there is nothing too crazy about him.

So, that might not sound too exciting. But, what makes the show great is that their acting is highly remarkable. Aiden Turner (Mitchell) exudes coolness and sexiness, yet is very tormented with his inability to control his urges. He had converted his friend into vampirism and struggles to deal with his actions, yet tries to have nothing to do with her. Leona Crichlow (Anne) is the feminine aspect of the trio and though she is a ghost, she has much trouble grasping the notion of the supernatural. Her fiancee rents out the flat that they live in, so she is always troubled by the fact that she is so close to him, yet he doesn't know. Russell Tovey (George) is the star of the show, though. His acting is a complete antithesis of the feral werewolf that he turns into once a month. Though he seems very meek, he is a man of honor and tries to help out his friends, relectant as he may be. Think of Kevin from The Office.

This show is pure BBC gold. There is violence, sex, and British humor. BBC America trims down some stuff for the overseas transfer, but big fucking deal. Some days, I'm surprised that we get away with words like "gosh" and "darn" on NBC. Supposedly, the filming of the second season started this month. Thank fucking goodness, because most shows on TV blow, especially American ones. "Supernatural" is the most kick-ass uh, supernatural show that America has to offer. So, hopefully once "Supernatural" comes and goes this 5th season, "Being Human" season 2 will be ready to rock.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Best of the week: 8-26-09


So, Ex Machina has finally got to the nitty gritty of Mayor Hundred's origin. Guess what, folks? He was to be the hearld of an alien invasion. Sweet. It turns out that there are heralds of different colors; Green was to disable all the weapons (the mayor's ability to control machines); Violet was to control the animals (like the rats that ate lesbians and babies in strollers); Red destroyed crops. White was to control the minds of the humans, which got kick-started by Bradbury when he clocked the journalist in the head. Thanks alot, Bradbury.

Batman and Robin #3

Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's third issue of "Batman and Robin" was kick-ass, naturally. I mean, c'mon. The first page has Dick dragging a goon on the ground while he's driving his motorcycle. Very reminiscient of "The Authority". What I love about the duo's work on this book (aside from the sweet sound-effects) is that Dick Grayson isn't fucking around. He is handling bad guys just like the Bruce beneath the cowl. It's gonna be interesting when the inevitable time comes when Bruce returns.

Incredible Hercules #132

Speaking of sound-effects, "The Incredible Hercules" (or "Comic With The Funniest Sound Effects") is by far the best comic out right now. This issue had Hercules and his amnesiatic, youth-returned father agreeing to go on a mission to fight Malekith an evil elf. As usual, Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente of "Marvel Zombies" 3 and 4 (remember Machine Man doing that sweet jump, like Machete from Planet Terror?) whip on the story as Hercules agrees to help out Asgard by pretending to be Thor.

Nova #28

In this month's Nova, Blastarr decides to let Nova leave Kree-Lar without so much as a battle. Why? Well, Blastarr remembered something that not too many people mention about in reagrds to Mr. Richard Ryder:

What has been bugging me about the "War of Kings" storyline is that it seems like the characters forgot all about the Annihilus and Ultron. Granted, the Inhumans didn't have jack shit to do with it, but it seems like people never talk about all the grief that the Nova Corps and the Guardians of the Galaxy had to go through to fix the universe. Especially Blastarr, who had a pretty kick-ass role in teaming up with the good dudes. Whatev...

So, that's about it for this week. For other books, try and catch the Dark Avengers. I like how the continuity kinda blows, with the exception of the X-Men. Who would have thought that the X-Men would make sense?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

This is how you take a motherfucker down: Part 2

This one time at Hillcrest San Diego in a gay club, I once told a transvetite "Talk to my hand 'cause my ears ain't listenin'!" S/he slapped my face and smeared my make-up. That incident was not nearly as explosive as what just happened on that comic page.