Sunday, May 31, 2009

Jesus Christ, In the Name of the Gun

I'm totally serious.

So, this comic book starts off with Jesus waking up in Heaven being told that God, his father, wants to see him. Jesus is a little pissed because his dad is a bit of a flake and he is pretty nonchalant about all the ailments of the world, such as the Holocaust and Pol Pot. God ends up leaving for his recurring trip that last for a century or so. Jesus orders an angel to arrange another virgin birth in Russia circa 1910. Around 1939, well...
Let's recap. Jesus didn't just walk on water. He RAN up a dude's piss stream, kicked him in the grill Guile-style, and said, "Blood of the lamb, motherfucker."

After infiltrating a rally where Hitler was doing a speech, Jesus tried to take him out with a sniper rifle, he eyed a hooded sniper on the next building who ended up popping Hitler in the head. After being chased by the Nazis thinking that Jesus was the shooter, he gets his hands on the mystery sniper, who turns out to be none other than:

Motherfucking Ernest Hemingway! Eventually, a Nazi knocks out Jesus and a tank shoots Ernest Hemingway in the chest. To be continued.

If you walk away with nothing from this, at least remember that nobody fucks with the Jesus!

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