Monday, August 31, 2009

Congrats, Marvel! Here's some advice!

In todays news, Disney bought Marvel Entertainment for $4 Billion. I have some tips for you, Marvel Entertainment that I would like to suggest.

(1) Don't fret when the inevitable Wall-E versus Ultron happens. Don't be surprised, either, when Wall-E bests Ultron by tricking him into opening a door and a bucket of water falls on his head.

(2) Accept the fact that Wolverine's claws are too sharp for typical Disney viewers. Disney just may ask you to write a story where Wolverine will never unsheathe his claws and ask people politely to put down the gun.

(3) Captain America will never die again. On that note, make sure Captain America eats only McDonald's and when he goes into foreign countries, he shakes the hands of children. Side Note: Ensure that Cap does not battle anybody from a foreign country unless the media has popular vote.

(4) Don't worry when you have to give Spider-Man ropes to swing around on; Disney just thinks that his webs might resemble semen too much, no biggie...

(5) Lastly, a message for the future. A future where Marvel realizes that they lost all hopes of any regaining any type of creative control: "Cheer up, Marvel! Most people that get fucked in the ass just get lube, not $4 Billion."

No comments:

Post a Comment